Understanding Parental Concerns
Fatima sat across from me, her face lined with worry. “I’m concerned about Alex,” she confessed. “He’s been causing trouble at school. As an 11-year-old, he acts a bit immature for his age. He is not completing his homework, not paying attention in class, and laughing out loud at inappropriate times. It is the third time the principal has called me in for a meeting. If this continues, he might fail his exams, stay back a year, and lose his friends. I have already spoken to the school psychologist, but it does not seem to be making a difference. I do not know what to say tomorrow when I meet the principal. Maybe I should take some time off work and pay more attention to him. Am I not being a good mother?”
I listened carefully, knowing Fatima personally. She is not just a good mother. She is an exceptional one. She juggles her demanding job as a nurse, raises two children, and ensures they are well taken care of. Despite all this, she was now weighed down by an additional concern: her son struggling at school.
This is a common theme in life coaching, psychotherapy, and self-development work: parents often blame themselves without recognizing the shared responsibility of schools and institutions.
Questioning the School’s Role
It was easy to assume Alex’s behavior was solely a parenting issue. Many do. But I knew better. I asked Fatima a simple question. “You send your child to school for a reason, right? So he can learn, behave, and grow? So why is all the burden falling on your shoulders alone?”
This question made her pause.
I told her to remind the principal that she works hard to provide for her children. She sends Alex to school expecting that he will be guided, taught, and disciplined, not just academically but behaviorally as well. If Alex is struggling, is it not also the responsibility of the school to assess whether their teaching methods are effective? Are the teachers equipped with the right skills to handle children growing up in an overstimulated world? Are they adapting to the evolving challenges of modern education?
Fatima hesitated. “I have already hired a psychologist to help Alex,” she said.
“That is great,” I reassured her. “But should that be your only option? The school is also responsible for shaping its students. Ask them. Are they ensuring that teachers have the tools they need to support children effectively? If the current methods are not working, are they willing to evolve?”
(For further reading on parental involvement and student development, you can explore this research paper on school–family collaboration).
A Collaborative Approach to Change
She took my advice. When she met the principal, instead of simply listening to another lecture about her son’s shortcomings, she shifted the conversation. She posed these simple yet powerful questions.
Surprisingly, the principal did not respond with another warning or blame. Instead, he paused. He listened. He acknowledged that schools have a duty beyond just passing students through the system. They must also prepare them for life. He agreed to look into ways to help Alex, not just academically but in his overall development.
The result? A few months later, Alex was doing much better in school. His behavior improved, his grades started rising, and the same teachers who once pointed fingers at him had started pulling their weight.
Why? Because when asked the right questions, they were reminded of their responsibility.
Too often, parents carry the full weight of their child’s education and development, forgetting that schools are supposed to be partners in this journey. Yes, it is a parent’s duty to provide food, shelter, and love, but it is also the school’s duty to create an environment where children learn discipline, focus, and essential life skills.
Empowering Parents and Schools Together
It is time parents recognize their responsibilities, but also have the courage to demand that teachers, schools, and institutions do their jobs properly. The future of our children, and the society they will one day lead, depends on it.
This is where life coaching and psychotherapy can help parents find balance, clarity, and strength in navigating these challenges. A collaborative approach—parents, schools, and professionals working together—creates the strongest foundation for a child’s growth and development.
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